Comparison and Competition

In all honesty, today’s article feeds into a potentially toxic mindset. I’m not an outwardly competitive person, and I rarely compare myself to others, with one exception: when it involves someone I look up to.

Now, I don't mean that literally. One of my long-term mentors and a co-founder of RxTeach, Brentsen Wolf, is 5′ 9″, and I’m 5′ 9 1⁄32″. Believe me, this doesn't make me feel any better about myself; I just feel bad for him. Literal facts aside, I’ve always been quietly competitive with my professors and mentors. Not in a hostile way, but in that internal and restless way where you want to crush their exams, lift heavier, or run faster than them, even if you don't actually think you will. Regardless of my imposter syndrome, there is something to say about aiming for the moon and landing amongst the stars.

It’s worth mentioning early that blindly comparing yourself to others can do more harm than good, especially if you're prone to letting it negatively impact your growth. I’m fairly selective about who I compare myself to – usually people I admire and would be proud to be lumped into the same bucket with. They tend to share three traits: competence, drive, and a genuine, caring nature. If you’re early in your career or in college, take a moment to think about the qualities you admire most in others! You don’t need to compete with those people; just pay attention, learn from them, and let their example help shape the person you want to become.

Luckily, my criteria are pretty easy to read on people. Those who are competent and have the drive to work hard are simply good at what they do, and they have the passion for it. Watching someone operate at a level you aspire to reach naturally invites comparison. Where am I relative to them? What skills do they have that I haven’t developed yet? In this sense, comparison becomes less about self-criticism and more about helping define your orientation to them and identify areas of improvement.

Unfortunately, it feels all too common to meet highly successful but arrogant people who make others feel small and are difficult to admire, no matter how impressive their accomplishments may be. That’s why it stands out so much when someone manages to be capable, motivated, and genuinely kind at the same time. These people make you want to work harder, not because you feel small around them, but because they make excellence feel attainable.

Comparison can become dangerous when you measure yourself against people who are further along in their journey under the expectation that you should be where they are, ultimately warping your sense of progress. It’s easy to forget that you’re comparing your current moment to someone else’s years of experience. Even more importantly, you shouldn’t compare innate characteristics outside of your control.

Before you all dog pile me for comparing my height to Brentsen's, I've decompressed my spine daily for three years to achieve this win. When comparison shifts from useful information to harsh judgment, you begin fueling doubt instead of growth. No achievement ever feels like enough, because the standard is always someone else’s trajectory. At that point, competition stops being productive and starts being destructive.

For me, balance comes from reframing both ideas. Comparison should be feedback, not a verdict. Competition doesn’t have to be external; it can be against your past self, your previous effort, or your earlier understanding. That said, external competition can still be useful if it pushes you to grow. It is up to you to decide if external competition is helpful or detrimental to you.

The absolute most important takeaway should be this: whatever you’re striving for, make sure it’s something you genuinely care about, not just a goal that others expect of you or think you should pursue (me going into engineering school right out of high school). It’s so easy to get caught up in what looks impressive on paper or what others will praise, but chasing someone else’s standard rarely brings fulfillment.

Finally, just like in sports or overall wellness, it’s so important to listen to your body and mind to know when you need rest. Hitting big goals and milestones can feel amazing, but constantly pushing yourself to exhaustion is a guaranteed path to burnout, especially when you consider your career will likely span over 4o years! Rest isn’t just nice; it’s essential. Which is exactly why I plan on hibernating for the rest of December.

*Information presented on RxTeach does not represent the opinion of any specific company, organization, or team other than the authors themselves. No patient-provider relationship is created.